on the road: knowing oneself.
getting lost, listening closely, etc.
it’s been a second.
A couple weeks ago, I woke up in the back of a 20-year old 4runner in the palouse region of eastern Washington. I was there with family I hadn’t seen in too long. It was raining.
After breakfast, my cousin Bridger and I drove to the Columbia River, a wide expanse between dark, moss-covered cliffs. The fog began to lift.
A couple times a year, like clockwork, I enter a state of deep inquiry. I used to call these my semesterly crises, but they didn’t stop with college. They always have a theme - the meaning of home, religion, career - and, after an odyssean journey, they come to a satisfactory resolve.
These journeys end up being extraordinarily efficient - many people spend decades deliberating these topics. For me, all it takes is one turbulent semester!
This startup gap year, starting last May, has entertained a few of these journeys. The first one, of course, was the decision to do this in the first place. Each job offer I’ve had to turn down has reignited this subtle insecurity of not doing what I’m supposed to. Choosing commitment over opportunity. It’s also put my life - values, ways of thinking, etc. - in direct and fascinating contrast with my peers. This is, after all, an experiment.
At the beginning of this year, I predicted another might come along, and now I’m beginning to see it. I’m a fairly social person, and as a result, I notice myself mirroring and code-switching often. There’s a lot to discuss here, but my confused cultural identity is a topic for another day.
The point of this particular journey is simple: to know myself.
observations:
First, I spent a week with myself and family I’ve known my whole life. Then, I spent a week with new friends in a new place (s/o Anthony Seliskar, a friend I’ve grown to admire deeply) for SXSW EDU (more on that next week!). Before, in between, and after, I listened closely and took note of what I learned:
on values
Listen to your body. Nature is seasonal, so are you.
I deeply admire people who are in full control of themselves. Chefs, climbers, dancers, monks.
Opportunity means nothing unless you take advantage of it. Go on a walk.
Money is a means, not an end. The end is freedom, or control over your life.
Room to grow is critical. I’ll always choose to be a small fish in a big pond over the alternative.
No one’s going to make you do anything.
Take a deep breath before leaving. Savor it.
on thinking
I take everything apart. How do you most naturally think?
Knowledge is fast. Understanding is slow. My thoughts are either guesses or deeply considered.
Most things are continuous, not discrete. We tend to overquantify and underqualify.
The creative process is where I thrive. I’ll ask a thousand questions + give ten thousand ideas
When I think, I need to move around and be tactile.
Embrace uncertainty until you have a good reason to be certain.
on building
When you can, build from scratch. Start with the raw ingredients. Be in charge of the process.
Coming up with something truly original + valuable + simple is hard.
What you learn doing stuff that isn’t work is extraordinarily valuable. Make art.
Building something and maintaining it are two vastly different things.
on February
February is the worst month. Everybody goes through it in February.
some interesting questions to ask yourself:
Which razors do you typically use to make decisions/confront optionality? (simplicity? opportunity? focus?). Which ones do you weigh the most?
What’s your (+) positively reinforcing drive (the thing that pulls you?): this is often related to desire, pleasure, or abundance. (wealth? family?). Which behaviors derive from this?
What’s your (-) negatively reinforcing drive (the thing that drags you?): this is often related to fear, pain, or scarcity. (lack of time? failure?). Which behaviors derive from this?
The decision razors I find myself using
Relationships: will it build a lifelong relationship?
Serendipity: will it increase luck?
Richness: will it be fulfilling?
Learning: will I learn something new or useful?
Opportunity: will it increase odds of success?
Influence: will it steer me in a direction I’d like to go?
Focus: does it align with my goal?
(+) Positively reinforcing drive: Curiosity; richness of experience and relationships.
(-) Negatively reinforcing drive: Urgency; scarcity associated with time.
(this is a work in progress). SXSW recap next week.
Also, I’m headed to Stanford for 2 reasons: to hang out with university innovation fellows, and to work with a team at the d.school around interoperable education. Anyone I should talk to while I’m there?
Oh, and helm is launching on product hunt Mar 23. Keep an eye out!
Great post. One that I have bookmarked so that I can more intentionally digest/journal about these concepts later. Grateful to call you a friend :)
Looking forward to more,
Anthony